November 13, 2023
Me Actually Working Challenge One: Do The Work
Part I: Analyze my past and identify patterns of behaviors that have led to negative consequences for myself and others.
From an early age I can clearly see the patterns in me seeking recognition and attention. I liked the way that made me feel when I was the focus of others. I made friends easily, was popular, and other people liked me. At least that’s what I thought and felt back when I was a child and in early adolescence.
I used the most positive skill sets I possessed back then to get attention. Although, I was beginning to realize I could get the same effect through negative behaviors. As my positive skills dwindled, became redundant, or didn’t bring me the same familiar results I craved, I began to dive into more negative behaviors to generate the attention I loved.
Some of those negative behaviors were: drinking, drug experimentation, drug use/abuse, partying, very risky/dangerous stunts/activities, fighting, and testing the rules that threatened my ability to do the things I wanted to do. Basically, I learned, doing the things no one else would do got me a lot of attention.
This seemed to satisfy part of what I craved. I continued these patterns until I was locked up in jail and on my way to prison in September of 1992. I was in prison until August 12, 1994 and that experience fixed those behaviors pretty quick. The need and why I wanted attention still existed, but I found new ways to get it with less negative consequences. Or at least that’s what I thought back then.
I’m listing or sharing patterns that I recognize today as always being present in my life and leading up to the bad decisions I’ve made in the past that hurt myself and others in some way, shape, or form. The behavior patterns I just shared had negative effects on my parents, their relations with one another, and my relationships with them. I caused a lot of stress and tension and left home on multiple occasions to eliminate that for my family. I also learned, the problems you can cause your parents or others that love you are not confined to geographical locations. I brought worry to my Mother and robbed her of the enjoyment of raising a kid of that age. There was no graduation or shopping for colleges. There were trips to juvenile court and probation appointments.
I embarrassed my Stepfather within his professional circle. I’m sure his fellow colleagues judged our family situation somehow. I frustrated my Dad because he was used to getting his way and solving problems, but he couldn’t accomplish that back then with me. It’s not his fault, I simply wouldn’t let him. That’s the best I can recall on how my actions back then had negative consequences for my loved ones. I’m certain there are many others, but I clearly remember those.
In Challenge One – Do The Work, I’ll be sharing 4-5 different behavioral patterns I’ve displayed throughout the course of my life that have had negative consequences on myself and others simultaneously. I’ll post this work over time. It takes time to focus on each pattern. Analyzing the “getting attention however I could get it” pattern and contemplating on how it affected those around me has taken 5 hours (as of the typing of this word) to turn into a project to share with you.
I’ve done this before (May of 2022) and even since that previous effort, I can see I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the importance of how you treat yourself and others. When I review what I did then, I even feel more remorse than I did the first time I worked this challenge. Remorse is not necessarily something you can be taught. You actually have to learn how to feel or connect to that feeling within yourself. You kind of grow or mature into experiencing the feeling of remorse for past actions. I wanted to share the ones that affected others somehow. By doing so, I’m actively reflecting on my past behaviors, actions, and decisions that played a role in me hurting those I love. Also, I see how my B.A.D. impacted people who I had no ties to as well.
Implementing this project into your self-rehabilitation or self-improvement efforts isn’t a fast, easy, or simple process. My goal is for the public to see the effort and time it takes to work this project. I also hope to gain support for this project and get input from the public about their perspective. Basically, if you’re not in prison you’re the public. So please share your views on what you think about the work I’ll be doing.
– Do you think you would take an incarcerated individual seriously concerning their desire to change their life if they chose to do this project on their own initiative?
– Do you think you would be willing to give that individual an opportunity to get a job, housing, or financial support?
– Would you be interested in following their journeys to see if this project truly impacts their lives?
These are some questions for you to consider as you read about what I’ve learned. I’m also doing this because I plan to document my release and all the challenges a newly released prisoner will face during reintegration. I hope to highlight the importance of planning, preparation, and taking action while incarcerated to spend your time in ways that supports your success in the free world.
Truly, anyone can utilize this project to improve themselves, it’s not limited to incarcerated individuals.
Well, I’m done with my sales pitch. I just want to solve this problem that has such a profound effect on so many lives. Some of the ones affected are: children, society as a whole, the individual incarcerated, the people they hurt when they’re released unprepared, and their families just to name a few. I feel my experiences have led to me gaining the perspective I have in order to help bring forth effective solutions. Effective solutions are very much needed. I see so much of “the same old approach” to deal with this problem.
All the efforts and money continue to be pumped into a system that’s way overdo for a new approach. That’s why I’ve incorporated an entrepreneurial approach to solve this problem. Treat every aspect of this project like a business. If it’s not profitable, identify why and implement corrective measures. Your input will help me determine if the need to implement corrective measures is present or not.
Failure is no longer an option when the solution to that failure is the very problem itself, the incarcerated individual. They need a realistic platform to truly make changes with. They can repay their debts to society by making themselves vulnerable and helping others who read about their journeys.
And the sales pitch does continue!
Ok, I’m done. Time for me to get back to work on identifying patterns and sharing them with the public. Do the work Mike!
– Bad Boy Mike –
Mike Brunsman #676-192
P.O. Box 45699
Lucasville, OH 45699
11-13-2023
